My new hobby during this 2ww

I have been trying so hard to keep myself from thinking about my period starting. Even though I have kept busy it has been constantly on my mind.

Here are some things I have made using this vintage sewing machine my mother in law gave me

Throw pillows

Dog Bed

Is there still hope

Today is day 15 of my cycle, still no spotting. I took a pregnancy test because I needed an answer. It was negative. I am not sure what to think. I guess its time for Kelcey and I to start preparing ourselves for the IVF process. IF my period does start by Sunday we will meet with our RE to see what is next in the journey.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord, "As the heavens are highter than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
                                                  Isaiah 55: 8-9

I just pray that we will be parents one day and that God gives me the strenght to get through the next few days. I feel like there is something wrong with my body, keeping me from being a mother. I really hate thinking about not having a child to love and cherish.

Towards the end of the 2ww

I have been dreading the end of this 2ww period.  I am praying that I don’t see any spotting these next few days. Kelcey and I have been in prayer that God will prepare our hearts either way. Tomorrow will be exactly 14 days post IUI and is the day that you can take a test, but I am too scared to see just one line. I am going to wait for my period to be late before I do any testing. I am on a 31 day cycle so I should start Sunday at the latest. I just hope that this is the month and we do not have to move to IVF.

July, please be the month

I went in for a mid-cycle sonogram on July 12th. Our RE was very pleased to see four follicles all way over the mature size of 18.

 He wanted to make sure that I wanted to proceed to IUI this month because of the risk of multiples. I said that I still wanted to go through with it and he was very positive. He told me this time he wanted to optimize our chances and he would do the IUI twice this time.

 We scheduled our IUI July 13^th and July 14^th. My DH went in July 13^th and his levels were a big improvement. My RE asked what I did to my husband for his levels to change. I just said it was God, we have been praying for a good level. We got an answered prayer and a good shot this cycle. We are so excited that we had an answered prayer. The next day my DH’s levels were not normal. My RE went ahead with the IUI because it could only help. We were disappointed, but we know that God doesn’t need high numbers to make a baby. He made this whole earth with just words.

2ww- I have been experiencing some early pregnancy symptoms but I have been talking myself out of them saying that they are just the side effects of the trigger shot.

Tonight I finally decided to go to the Infertility Support (Hopeful Hearts) group from my church. I am so glad I went. It was very humbling to hear other ladies stories and to know that I am not alone. I was recommended a book called "Hannah’s Hope", to help me through this journey. I can’t wait to start reading it.

My inspiration through the meeting

-          God is putting me through this for a reason and through time I will be grateful for this experience

-          This process has made me love my God more and more through every struggle, I am so much closer in my walk

-          I can help out couples who are going through this process with love and understanding

-          I need to let go and be ok with God's plan for my life

I should know something Friday, I am praying for no spotting and a miracle. My God is so good.

This is a song that has been pressed on my heart this week

                           Lead me to the cross

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

June.. a hope for a great birthday present

This is our first try with IUI, I was very nervous about all the hormones that were going to be put in my body. Our RE is great at making us feel comfortable and giving us hope. I went in on June 13 to see how my follicles looked. I had four follicles, but only one was at the mature size they like to see a follicle over 18 mine was 22.

 Our RE said I was ready to do the IUI the following day. I wasn't expecting to do it so soon. I got the trigger shot and right away I started feeling my ovaries working. Thankfully my friends planned a movie night and I had a night to relax with my friends. My DH went in the next morning and his levels were not in the normal range before the sperm wash. God worked a miracle for us and his levels raised up past the normal range and we were ready to start the IUI.

 Kelcey had a great way of helping with my nerves, by playing funny swimming music, and praying with me before and during the 15 min tilt.

 I went straight home and did not get up for the rest of the day. I didn't want anything to move around.


The 2ww wait begins. All types of feelings, but I know that God has a plan and I just need to let go and give all my worry to him. I started spotting on day 14 and I just had a feeling that this was not the month.

Friday July 1st. I started my period. I was devastated that it really happened. I prayed for God to give me strength to get through this day and answer all the texts and phone calls hoping for me to have positive news.  



Thankfully I know that it was God's plan and he has plans for me that I just do not understand right now.



We are trying again in July, hoping for a miracle.