A BIG thank you!

I just wanted to thank everyone for your support and prayers during our journey. We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family who care about us. God is so good and we are so excited about meeting this miracle/s :)

Tomorrow is our first sono appointment. I am so excited and can't wait to see this beautiful creation that God has created.


Here are some pictures of my belly so far... I don't think I am showing yet, just all bloating from the injections and all the hormones going on right now. Enjoy!

Week 5

                                                           Week 6

Not sure what I'll use next week, since Kelcey only has worked at station 5 and 6 in Arlington so far :)

The Blood test revealed

     Saturday was a very exciting and scary day. I went in early Saturday morning to find out if we were pregnant. It’s crazy that through this entire IVF journey it was ending with a simple blood test. I have always wanted to do something special for Kelcey when I found out I was pregnant and surprise him. This time was not what I expected; no matter what it would not be a surprise for Kelcey. We decided that Kelcey would answer the phone because I was too scared to hear another negative. So he got the opportunity that most guys don’t get, he was the one that told me I was PREGNANT. I couldn’t believe it because when he was talking to the nurse on the phone he didn’t seem excited he seemed sad. I was super excited and just wanted to sing praises to the Lord.  God has been working in all of this and I am so thankful that he blessed us with a baby/ies. My beta (HCG level) on Saturday 10 past transfer was 130 and on Monday it not only doubled, but went a little over to 316. We are so excited and happy to finally be parents. Our sono is scheduled for November 11^th J I can’t wait to see our miracle.

Transfer Day

All 5 of our embryos made it to transfer day. The embryologist chose the best 2 to put inside me. We are so blessed to have all 5 survive. God has been so faithful J

 Our beautiful emybroys that God created, one is 6 hrs ahead of the other. Its crazy to see such difference.

We were thinking that I would be given valium to make the transfer easier, since my uterus was hard to reach because I’m curvy J  We never got the RX for the valium; we didn’t we were supposed to go get it :( So, I did the transfer with no pain meds. Thankfully it was an easy transfer, the stitch they put in at egg retrieval made a huge difference. The Dr. had an easy path way to make it to my curvy uterus.  

After my transfer I laid back for 30 minutes for the embryos to settle in. Now the wait begins J We should know something around 10/22. Please pray that this is God's will and these babies make it. We also had 2 embroys make it to freeze :) We have had so many miracles along the way!

God is so good!

Saturday morning we got the call that said  5 embryos  fertilized correctly. I was really nervous about only having 5 to work with, that some wouldn't make it to Wednesday transfer. Waiting on phone calls to see how they are doing are so hard. It's hard to be patient when you want to know so badly how they are doing. Kelcey and I have never gotten this far, to actually be "parents" to fertilized eggs. I am so overwhelmed with how everything keeps falling in place so wonderfully. God truly has his hands in this process. Yesterday I was a nervous wreck wondering how the embryos were doing. The embryologist only calls every other day to tell us how they are doing, so we had to wait till today to get the 3 day results.  God kept leading me to verses in the bible about faithfulness and to rely on him. 

We got the call earlier than I expected and I was thinking that it must mean bad news, it was only 10:45 in the morning and they weren’t supposed to call until mid-afternoon. I was wrong, all 5 embryos are still going strong and she said they were right on track J I am so excited that we still have all 5. God is so good!! We are scheduled for a transfer on Wednesday at 3:15. Then it will be strict bed rest for a couple of days. I pray that our little fighters make it till Wednesday.  I will get pictures of them soon J

Egg Retrieval

Today was the day we made our babies :) It’s so exciting because this is the first time we actually made one for sure. Everything turned out great, God is so faithful. I am not sure how many eggs they took out for sure but we do have 12 mature eggs that were fertilized today. Tomorrow we will get the call to see how many made it. I am pretty sore still, hopefully this weekend I will feel better. Wednesday is the day for transfer if everything goes correctly. Here are some pictures of today (I look horrible by the way)

                                                                    Before

After

Kelcey said that I was mad at him for drinking my juice :)

                                            Funny stuff after being put to sleep ;)

bye bye injections

I decided to take a picture of all the injections I have taken :) A farewell and a hope for a miracle :)

We are so close :)

Today my Dr. said I was ready to trigger and I am finished with injections except for the trigger shot and last Lupron shot tonight :) YAY, my poor tummy has had it with needles; it is swollen and has numerous red dots and bruises. I would take a picture, but it is not a pretty sight :)

I will trigger tonight at 10:45 and then go in on Friday morning for the retrieval. Tomorrow is my shot honeymoon, which means that I have no more injections or medicine to take except my antibiotics to keep my follicles healthy. After the retrieval I will start progesterone suppositories and other medicines to help my uterus get ready for the transfer. We are so thankful for the Dr.'s positive attitude and my body for responding correctly. Praise God J

More updates on Friday to see how many eggs they retrieved J Pray for our Dr. hands and wisdom and for us to get a good number of mature eggs. Also for Kelcey to produce enough strong sperm.  I am giving this fully to God and I know that he will place his hand on me during this time.

Update

Saturday’s appointment went very well, praise the Lord J. My body responded well to the injections and I had 17 beautiful follicles. I am so glad that those little ones caught up. 17 is a perfect number.  I went back this morning and now I have about 20 follicles. My endometrium lining looked wonderful and the follicles were around 13-14 in size. They will be mature around 21 in size. The Dr. said I have two more day of stimming before I give myself a final injection (trigger shot) which makes the follicles release the eggs.  This afternoon I will get a call to tell me how my estrogen level is doing. That is the main indicator on how much longer before we retrieve. I think it will be Friday morning. I am so thankful for God’s faithfulness during this; he has definitely been with us through the details.  

God is so Faithful

Today's Dr. Apt made me really nervous. I really need to not only say that I am giving this to God completely but actually do it with all my whole heart. I was really nervous about how many follicles I was going to have. Going through IVF, numbers become really important. That is with your estrogen levels, how may vials you will be doing, how many follicles, how many embryos, and finally your BETA numbers to see if you pregnant or not.

Isaiah 25:1
O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

This morning I was doubtful that the injections were actually working. During the sono the Dr. said there were many follicles but he only could measure some of them. He got to see 7 follicles today and hopefully more will wake up and he will began to see many more. He also said my estrogen levels started really low. He didn’t act like it was a problem and only said my size is the reason I do not have high estrogen levels.  He was really hoping my levels would raise some.

This afternoon I got a call from the nurse, she said my levels were UP to a normal level. Praise GOD J I was so excited. We are changing my meds a little bit. I will be taking 2 Bravelle and 1 Menopur in the A.M. and the same at night. I will go back on Saturday to see how the follicles are doing. I hope we see a lot more.

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases.
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning.
Great is thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23 RSV)

“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” – Phil 4:19

Notice the above verse says “ALL.” It doesn’t say “some” or “most,” but it says that He will meet all of our needs. It doesn’t say how He will meet our needs and I have found from experience the way He does it is often not what I expected. But the bottom line is that God is faithful and He does what He promises.

Cast your burden on the Lord [releasing the weight of it] and He will sustain you; He will never allow the [consistently] righteous to be moved (made to slip, fall, or fail). Psalm 55:22 (AMP)

I will let you know how many follicles show up on Saturday :)

1st Check up since injections

These injections hurt a lot more than the Lupron shots did :( I have to keep thinking about holding my precious baby. Even writing that brings tears to my eyes. I am praying that this is God's will for Kelcey and I. I went in this morning and gave blood, of course my veins rolled so she had to end up using my hand. I just got a call with the results from my blood work and the nurse told me to add another vial of Bravell. So I am doing a total of 6 vials now. Pray for Kelcey ( I have been super emotional lately).  I am so glad they thought me how to mix them or I would definitely look like a pin cushion. My tummy already has some bruising and you can see little red needle marks. Tonight will be my first time to give the big injection without Kelcey. I feel more comfortable when he is home to supervise. I am having trouble with letting go of all the details and remembering that God is in control. I am worried about my body responding well to the medication and I am nervous about how many follicles I have. They still haven't started to count them yet. I guess they are waiting for the meds to kick in first. Hopefully on my next Apt, Thursday morning, we will know how many I have. God is in control of every detail 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast your anxiety on God by trusting that he cares for you." And Philippians 4:6 says, "Cast your anxiety on the Lord by praying and letting your requests be made known to him." The connection is simple. Trusting that God cares about your anxiety is expressed in prayer.

First day of Stims :)

I went to the Dr. on Wednesday to check my ovaries for any large cysts and to see if my ovaries were asleep. They did find a small cyst but my blood work showed the cyst was nothing to worry about. I am so thankful that we did not have to cancel this cycle. The Dr. said it is very common for women to develop cyst after Lupron, thankfully mine was small and it should dissolve soon. I also got the ok to start my Stim meds for today. I pray that my body responds well to the medication and that I have strong follicles that make it all the way to retrieval. We are getting so clos e and I am very excited. I will go back to the Dr. on Monday to see how my body is responding and possibly count my follicles. We pray for a high number of follicles to get us to a great start. It is so awesome to see God work in every detail throughout this journey.

This will be my daily injections until retrieval, which is set for Oct. 6th

We are starting :)

Last Friday we had our Trial Transfer appointment. This is where our Dr looks at the uterus and cervix to ensure easy passage of the embryo(s) in the future. A flexible catheter is used to measure the depth of the uterus and to determine the best location for embryo placement. This process was a little painful since they discovered my cervix is curvy.  The catheter was shaped like a L when he was finished :( . He says everyone is made different and this will not affect anything. They will put a stich with a string in during the retrieval and keep it in until we transfer. This will help straighten my cervix when he puts the embryos in.  We met with a nurse to talk about the injections and go over our protocol. Our big egg retrieval day is OCT 6th!!

I got my meds in today. I was so excited and nervous about seeing everything that it takes to do IVF. Seeing all this makes me realize how big God really is. Our bodies are so perfectly put together and this experience has shown me so much. We are so blessed to be able to use these medications to make a gift from God. None of this would be possible without him working in our lives.

 Tonight I started Lupron injections. I was so excited to finally begin the injection part but I was extremely nervous about doing it right. The thought of injecting my self never bothered me. I just was scared that I wouldn't do it right or I mess the amount up. It was so easy and I think I did it right :) My wonderful neighbor Jonna, came over to support and supervise since Kelcey was working. Thankfully, I haven't felt any of the bad side effects yet :)

Our journey begins

Our first Dr. apt starting our IVF journey was yesterday. I had a sonogram performed to make sure I did not have any cysts and see how everything looked. Everything checked out well and we are good to begin :)



I started birth control pills yesterday to help suppress my ovaries. I know it sounds crazy to be on BC when we are trying to get pregnant but this will help my ovaries to rest during this cycle and lowers the risk of an ovarian cyst prior to ovarian stimulation. The pill also facilitates the planning and timing of the start of the stimulation cycle.  I will go back Friday to have a trial transfer and order all my meds. The trial transfer with measure my uterus and see where the best place to transfer the embryos next month. Our Dr. will meet with his team and develop a protocol for me. So, we should know the timeline on Friday.

God is so good! He is so faithful!

 

Standing on this mountaintop

Looking just how far we've come

Knowing that for every step

You were with us

 

Kneeling on this battle ground

Seeing just how much You've done

Knowing every victory

Is Your power in us

 

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Yes, our hearts can say

 

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

 

Scars and struggles on the way

But with joy our hearts can say

Never once did we ever walk alone

Carried by Your constant grace

Held within Your perfect peace

Never once, no, we never walk alone

 

Never once did we ever walk alone

Never once did You leave us on our own

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

 

Every step we are breathing in Your grace

Evermore we'll be breathing out Your praise

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

You are faithful, God, You are faithful

We are so close :)

In about 2 weeks we will start the IVF process. I am very excited to get started and I am praying that we will have a miracle at the end. Kelcey had is DNA test last week and we should get the results this week. We are praying for God to answer another prayer and let us continue on without touching the frozen sperm. God is so good and has been so faithful during this journey.

Kelcey and I decided for me to take a break from teaching this year. It has been a really hard decision and I am so sad to leave my wonderful, "dream" job. I miss it already, but I trust that this is God’s plan. A friend that is also going through the IVF process, shared with me a book she was reading about the Israelites wandering around the desert and God brought them water..their refreshment at just the time He wanted to, and it was the perfect refreshment for them.  I never thought that I would be staying home before I had a baby, but God keeps showing me that my plans are not his plans. I am hoping this refreshment prepares my heart for the emotional draining part of the IVF and helps me grow closer to him.



Please pray for my anxious heart and to have contentment with me staying home.

Our new journey to our miracle baby

Today was our IVF consult. We were both hoping that this day would never come, but we must put our faith in God. He is the one in control and  his way is best.

We are really encouraged by our talk today and feel very good about starting IVF. Our Dr. recommended that we take this month to get Kelcey's sperm checked for DNA Fragmentation. This process checks to see if his sperm DNA is healthy and the radiation he had before did not break anything up. This will determine if we use the banked sperm prior to his radiation treatment or his current sperm. We are praying for good test results, unfrozen sperm has a higher sucess rate. We are also letting my ovarires rest, since they were worked so hard the last two cycles. We want to avoid Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), which can cause a lot of problems during an IVF cycle.

I am praying for patience , because I wanted selfishly to start the process today. I know that waiting will be for the best results and I hope these next 2 months fly by.

                                                     The 7 week IVF Cycle

We will start the pretreatment process on September 1^st, if my cycle stays the same. I will be on birth control for this month to help my ovaries shut down and let the Dr. have complete control of when I ovulate.  The most intense process will start around September 24^th. We should know if we are pregnant around October 20^th. Which is also the day Kelcey takes is Drivers promotion test. October will be a adventurous month for us.

My new hobby during this 2ww

I have been trying so hard to keep myself from thinking about my period starting. Even though I have kept busy it has been constantly on my mind.

Here are some things I have made using this vintage sewing machine my mother in law gave me

Throw pillows

Dog Bed

Is there still hope

Today is day 15 of my cycle, still no spotting. I took a pregnancy test because I needed an answer. It was negative. I am not sure what to think. I guess its time for Kelcey and I to start preparing ourselves for the IVF process. IF my period does start by Sunday we will meet with our RE to see what is next in the journey.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord, "As the heavens are highter than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
                                                  Isaiah 55: 8-9

I just pray that we will be parents one day and that God gives me the strenght to get through the next few days. I feel like there is something wrong with my body, keeping me from being a mother. I really hate thinking about not having a child to love and cherish.

Towards the end of the 2ww

I have been dreading the end of this 2ww period.  I am praying that I don’t see any spotting these next few days. Kelcey and I have been in prayer that God will prepare our hearts either way. Tomorrow will be exactly 14 days post IUI and is the day that you can take a test, but I am too scared to see just one line. I am going to wait for my period to be late before I do any testing. I am on a 31 day cycle so I should start Sunday at the latest. I just hope that this is the month and we do not have to move to IVF.

July, please be the month

I went in for a mid-cycle sonogram on July 12th. Our RE was very pleased to see four follicles all way over the mature size of 18.

 He wanted to make sure that I wanted to proceed to IUI this month because of the risk of multiples. I said that I still wanted to go through with it and he was very positive. He told me this time he wanted to optimize our chances and he would do the IUI twice this time.

 We scheduled our IUI July 13^th and July 14^th. My DH went in July 13^th and his levels were a big improvement. My RE asked what I did to my husband for his levels to change. I just said it was God, we have been praying for a good level. We got an answered prayer and a good shot this cycle. We are so excited that we had an answered prayer. The next day my DH’s levels were not normal. My RE went ahead with the IUI because it could only help. We were disappointed, but we know that God doesn’t need high numbers to make a baby. He made this whole earth with just words.

2ww- I have been experiencing some early pregnancy symptoms but I have been talking myself out of them saying that they are just the side effects of the trigger shot.

Tonight I finally decided to go to the Infertility Support (Hopeful Hearts) group from my church. I am so glad I went. It was very humbling to hear other ladies stories and to know that I am not alone. I was recommended a book called "Hannah’s Hope", to help me through this journey. I can’t wait to start reading it.

My inspiration through the meeting

-          God is putting me through this for a reason and through time I will be grateful for this experience

-          This process has made me love my God more and more through every struggle, I am so much closer in my walk

-          I can help out couples who are going through this process with love and understanding

-          I need to let go and be ok with God's plan for my life

I should know something Friday, I am praying for no spotting and a miracle. My God is so good.

This is a song that has been pressed on my heart this week

                           Lead me to the cross

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

June.. a hope for a great birthday present

This is our first try with IUI, I was very nervous about all the hormones that were going to be put in my body. Our RE is great at making us feel comfortable and giving us hope. I went in on June 13 to see how my follicles looked. I had four follicles, but only one was at the mature size they like to see a follicle over 18 mine was 22.

 Our RE said I was ready to do the IUI the following day. I wasn't expecting to do it so soon. I got the trigger shot and right away I started feeling my ovaries working. Thankfully my friends planned a movie night and I had a night to relax with my friends. My DH went in the next morning and his levels were not in the normal range before the sperm wash. God worked a miracle for us and his levels raised up past the normal range and we were ready to start the IUI.

 Kelcey had a great way of helping with my nerves, by playing funny swimming music, and praying with me before and during the 15 min tilt.

 I went straight home and did not get up for the rest of the day. I didn't want anything to move around.


The 2ww wait begins. All types of feelings, but I know that God has a plan and I just need to let go and give all my worry to him. I started spotting on day 14 and I just had a feeling that this was not the month.

Friday July 1st. I started my period. I was devastated that it really happened. I prayed for God to give me strength to get through this day and answer all the texts and phone calls hoping for me to have positive news.  



Thankfully I know that it was God's plan and he has plans for me that I just do not understand right now.



We are trying again in July, hoping for a miracle.

Our Journey so far

As most of you know, Kelcey and I are experiencing infertility. We are going through struggling times and trying to understand why this is God's plan for us . This experience so far has given us more of each other and heavy hearts pursuing  God. We feel that this is God's plan and his planning is perfect even if we do not understand it. This will be our 4th month of trying with OPK. Kelcey has been on a hormone treatment for 6 weeks now. We will find out at the end of the month if they have worked. Last week I went through the HSG testing (where they use a cathder in my uterus to see if my fallopian tubes are open and if my uterus is normal) that really took a lot out of me. I got the results on Friday, which said everything was clear. Praise God, for all of my test this far being normal. We pray that this month might be the one that works and we will meet baby land soon. If not, we will be meeting with our fertility doctor the 1st week in June.
Please pray this week that Kelcey and I keep our hope up and pray for God's plan and not ours.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11